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K-Hole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,098 posts
Joined: Mar, 2003
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 Posted - 2003/09/12 : 07:43:31
quote:
Originally posted by mason:
nice i can see this topics goin to get flushed 
har, innit
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Chris aka Ghost
i'll be raving at-
United Dance-sept 27th
Enigma-nov 15th
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irc.happyhardcore.com
#hardcore
Breaking goats since '03.
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raverdave
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
517 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
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Posted - 2003/09/12 : 15:22:47
Take note my friends as these are the real rules of life... i used to live five minutes away from my school so i always made the trip home. The familiarity of my own loo and a wide range of reading materials outweighed the pain of clencheing whilst i legged it back.....
I hope this doesn't mean I s**t like a girl...........
Oh and remember pooing is nothing to be ashamed of, wherever you are. Even the queen has to take a s**t sometimes. I bet you can see her now in your minds eye squeezing out a long un! (sorry!)
HaRdCoRe ViBe!!!!!
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"Can I Use My Strong Hand!?!"
HaRdCoRe HuStLeR!!! HaRdCoRe HuStLeR!!!
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Edited by - raverdave on 2003/09/12 15:28:48 |
Brian K
Advanced Member
United States
8,663 posts
Joined: Sep, 2001
528 hardcore releases
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 Posted - 2003/09/12 : 19:01:10
oh my good f*ckin lord, i nearly pissed myself reading this. absolutely classic is all i can say...
"we'll delete the weak"
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"we'll delete the weak"
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fazza
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,126 posts
Joined: Sep, 2002
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Posted - 2003/09/12 : 19:58:17
got sent this ages ago,
THE RITE OF RITUAL DEFECATION
Tools and materials required: 1 Holey Sacrificial Bowl (common toilet that has been dedicated to magickal work), ceremonial tissue paper (in rolls, preferably 2-ply), deodorant spray, and the usual sacrificial offerings appropriate to this Rite. If necessary an empty tissue roll may be used as a temporary wand.
1. Firstly, secure and clear the ritual space in the usual manner by closing (and preferably locking) the chamber door and then perform preliminary banishings according to one's traditions.
2. Next, assume the proper position (i.e. perched aloft the magickian's 'throne' in the appropriately semi-disrobed fashion).
3. Now, activate and open corresponding energy centers (e.g. root or 1st chakra) for the auric purification and any other energy work to be done. One might use a previously learned grounding exercise and then systematically open the other chakras to ensure proper energy flow through the auric sphere.
4. When ready, the magickian may concentrate all negative emotions and tensions such as anger toward people or situations, sadness, depression, etc. and direct them into the ritual offering (which is still to be found in its entombed position held securely within the grasp of the magickian's rectal sphincter).
5. While vibrating any and all appropriate names whether voluntarily or involuntarily, the magickian should then deposit the ritual offering(s) into the Holey Sacrificial Bowl, thus releasing them from his body and purifying his energy field. The Sign of the Excretor may be used while releasing the offering (sitting version of the Sign of the Enterer), and a more accurate version of the Sign of Silence (Harpocrates sitting upon a lotus) may be used to cut off the flow of energy after each release.
6. One should visualize the emotional tensions which were concentrated into each offering as being permanently released from one's sphere of consciousness, only to be dissolved over time in the septic waters which carry away impurities toward their return to the Source of All. Meditation on the significance of this cycle of endless return may also prove beneficial later.
7. If the magickian is lucky enough, the Holey Sacrificial Bowl (corresponding to Water and really just a larger version of a common ritual chalice) may deem him worthy of the anointing of a watery kiss upon his root chakra after a particularly substantial release. This may also help to alleviate any initial pain or irritation that may have been experienced in that area. Pain is a part of life, and often encountered when dealing with one's inner turmoils, tensions, and unresolved emotional conflicts.
8. Following the completion of this Holey Rite, the magickian should then perform the final cleansing with the ceremonial tissue. Then, send the offerings on their way to return to the Source, assured all the while of one's emotional tensions being dissolved over time in the septic waters of creation and renewal.
9. When once again fully robed, perform the proper rituals to close the ceremony according to one's tradition, and banish with deodorizing spray.
10. Cleanse the hands in the usual manner, and return to the world of people with the smug satisfaction that they are completely unaware of what you've REALLY been doing in there all this time. Note: a magazine carried under the arm is a good cover-up for this Rite.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"
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all your base are belong to us.
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Simon
Advanced Member
Belgium
5,001 posts
Joined: Dec, 2001
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Posted - 2003/09/13 : 10:23:39
quote:
Originally posted by Brian K:
oh my good f*ckin lord, i nearly pissed myself reading this. absolutely classic is all i can say...
I knew someone with your sense of humour would love it .
Thing is, It's so funny because it's all true  .
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Everything is random, your probebly not meant to read this!!!!!!
You Turn & Face The Strange..............You Turn & Face Yourself!!!
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"...The Outsider"
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toxicmusic
Junior Member
United Kingdom
115 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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 Posted - 2003/09/14 : 10:30:59
*wipes laughin tears from face*
My god, that is fan-****ing-tastic... 
I HAD to send that to all my mates!! 
Simon, Mouse - U are BOTH top class!!! 
~This is the beginning of something Happy and Hardcore~
~# [email protected] #~
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~This is the beginning of something Happy and Hardcore~
~# [email protected] #~
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pishposh
Average Member
Ireland
223 posts
Joined: Sep, 2003
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Posted - 2003/09/14 : 11:10:09
i'm gonna email this one round the office its classic  
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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2003/09/14 : 11:17:51
quote:
Originally posted by toxicmusic:
Simon, Mouse - U are BOTH top class!!!
They know their sh*t 
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They've done it to me, their gonna do it to you!
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DJ Mouse
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,687 posts
Joined: Jul, 2001
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Posted - 2003/09/14 : 17:21:04
literally! lol
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"I had 2 half-brothers and they both died, so Mummy took the chainsaw off me"
DJ Mouse
http://hardcorehq.tk
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