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jokes

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toxic
Advanced Member



Australia
1,540 posts
Joined: Sep, 2002
toxic has attended 2 events
Posted - 2003/01/15 :  16:32:38  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit toxic's homepage  Reply with quote
whats black and white and cant fit thru a revolving door?

a nun with a spear thru its head

Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!


__________________________________
Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!




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milo
Advanced Member



Canada
3,391 posts
Joined: Sep, 2001


347 hardcore releases
milo is verified hardcore artist milo has attended 89 events
Posted - 2003/01/15 :  16:57:16  Show profile View artist profile  Send a private message  Visit milo's homepage  Reply with quote
bring on the dead baby jokes =)


How do you fit 100 dead babies in a telephone booth?
blender
how do you get them out?
straw

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
you can't f*ck a rock

what's the difference between a truck load of brick and a truck load of dead babies?
you can't unload the bricks with a pitch fork

what's worse then ten dead babies in one garbage can?
one dead baby in 10 garbage cans

how do you make a baby stop crawling in circles?
nail gun their other leg to the ground too

what's black and white and red all over?
the highway after a baby tried to crawl across

"Everybody... rock, rock on.. "


__________________________________
http://milo.happyhardcore.com
HappyHardcore.com/North American Hardcore Movement/Totally Sweet Radio/Hardcore Street Team


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toxic
Advanced Member



Australia
1,540 posts
Joined: Sep, 2002
toxic has attended 2 events
Posted - 2003/01/15 :  17:33:22  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit toxic's homepage  Reply with quote
^^^ those jokes make me

Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!


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Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!




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Edited by - toxic on 2003/01/15 17:36:40
jonny
New Member



United Kingdom
26 posts
Joined: Oct, 2002
Posted - 2003/01/16 :  04:45:14  Show profile  Send a private message  Reply with quote
just a few very "funny" jokes from a pack of wotsits.

what is thick, black, floats on water and shouts "knickers"?

crude oil.

wot goes aaaaaaaaaaaaa?

a sheep with no lips

wots brown and sounds like a bell?

dung

wot do u call a man in paper underpants?

russell





__________________________________
jonny.


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dj_stey_iz_ere
Average Member



United Kingdom
227 posts
Joined: Oct, 2002
Posted - 2003/01/16 :  08:49:55  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit dj_stey_iz_ere's homepage  Reply with quote
how do u get 100 starving peopel in a telephone box?
throw a tin of beans in

how do u get them out?
run past with the tin opener

worse thing you can do is throw a brick thro a window and ask 4 it bk

worse thing you can do put a person in a pitch black circule room and ask them 2 find the corner or u will kill thm

------------------------
Dont drink and drive,

smoke Weed and fly


__________________________________
------------------------
Dont drink and drive,

smoke Weed and fly


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fostino2000
Junior Member



United Kingdom
99 posts
Joined: Sep, 2002
Posted - 2003/01/16 :  11:47:53  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit fostino2000's homepage  Reply with quote
True Story:

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the
century: Mr Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive
cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued... and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA!!!



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DJ Mouse
Advanced Member



United Kingdom
2,687 posts
Joined: Jul, 2001
DJ Mouse has attended 1 event
Posted - 2003/01/16 :  13:18:21  Show profile  Send a private message  Reply with quote
lol i've heard that one before,shame on him :P

--------------------------------------------------
"Did you know that eleven plus two is an anagram of twelve plus one?"

DJ Mouse




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Stevie c
Advanced Member



Belgium
3,836 posts
Joined: Dec, 2002


204 hardcore releases
Stevie c has donated money to the site
Posted - 2003/01/21 :  02:20:45  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit Stevie c's homepage  Reply with quote
What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard!!

What goes 99 clonk
A centipede with a wooden leg!!

Your into the sound of Rebellion


__________________________________
me white gloves and neon sticks leave an endless trail




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toxic
Advanced Member



Australia
1,540 posts
Joined: Sep, 2002
toxic has attended 2 events
Posted - 2003/01/21 :  03:02:39  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit toxic's homepage  Reply with quote
A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night.
He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.

Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!


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Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!


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Stevie c
Advanced Member



Belgium
3,836 posts
Joined: Dec, 2002


204 hardcore releases
Stevie c has donated money to the site
Posted - 2003/01/21 :  03:15:10  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit Stevie c's homepage  Reply with quote
That's fantastic!!

Your into the sound of Rebellion


__________________________________
me white gloves and neon sticks leave an endless trail




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toxic
Advanced Member



Australia
1,540 posts
Joined: Sep, 2002
toxic has attended 2 events
Posted - 2003/01/21 :  03:19:11  Show profile  Send a private message  Visit toxic's homepage  Reply with quote
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.


Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!


__________________________________
Whisper something nice, and ill make you scream twice !!!




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